Tidying Up!

Surprisingly enough, “Tidying Up” is an oil painting by American artist Isabel Bishop. The original work hangs in the Indianapolis Museum of Art. The artist focused most of her creativity on women going about their everyday lives.

The painting, however, claims no credit for the donation deluge thrift stores across the nation experience as folks “tidy up” their homes. Rather, the Netflix show “Tidying Up with Marie Kondo” has inspired devotees through stories and changes that take place as Marie guides people through the life-changing process of releasing attachments to possessions. She reminds us that “memories live in the mind not in the closet.” I must admit Dale and I watched a few episodes ourselves.

Marie isn’t the first person to extol the benefits of being tidy. Others have told us “Tidy Room, Tidy Mind”; “Twinkle, twinkle little star, time to clean up where you are.” You can find YouTube songs to sing with children (or grandchildren) about the fun of being tidy.

When Dale and I moved our family from Brazil to the U.S. after 17 years, we were faced with a drastic need to tidy up. Reducing our possessions to a mere 100 pounds seemed an impossible fete—especially for a family of four! Moving to Friendsview presented another opportunity to tidy up. In the process I came to realize that what I own reflects my identity and my values. How do I want to live my life going forward?

Jason Wright, popular speaker and best-selling author, asks the question: “What is the point of organizing and cleaning our physical worlds without doing the same in our spiritual worlds? Storing anger at a family member? Throw it out! Stashing regret for the job not taken? Toss it! Clutching guilt for the words you spoke? Apologize to God and the offended. Then forgive yourself and chuck the memory forever. What’s good for your closet is good for your soul!”

Mark Twain summed it up, “Be careless in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul.”

At Women’s Coffee Mingle this week we rehearsed the collapse of summer into fall and the changes taking place. All across the Friendsview campus we hear residents proclaim—“Autumn is my favorite season!”

What’s not to like?

• Gold, amber, and vibrant changing foliage
• Leaf-strewn sidewalks that crunch under your feet
• Light breezes
• Blue skies
• Clear nights
• Pumpkins patches and pies
• The pungent smell of burning leaves assaulting our senses

George Eliot wrote:

Delicious autumn!  
My very soul is wedded to it,
and if I were a bird
I would fly about the earth
seeking the successive autumns.

Maybe you agree with George Eliot…maybe not? I’ve always loved summer most of all, but I must admit that as I walk through our Friendsview Canyon, listen to Fox students on the football field, drink coffee on my deck under the canopy of changing leaves—I’m a grateful believer in autumn.

Autumn speaks the same language as those in our season of life. We’ve navigated those early tentative years of spring, the glorious and intense days of midlife summer, and now…autumn! This writing by Valentin helps us understand autumn and our season of life.

“Autumn is mature, 
reasonable and serious,
it glows moderately and not frivolously…
it cools down, clears up,
makes you reasonable.”

I want to live each day of the “autumn of my life” with no regrets. That is the best preparation for the next season—winter.

I certainly enjoyed introducing myself and my husband, Dale, in our first issue last August! We were pictured in our home on Cherry Street, where we enjoyed our front-row seats as University Village grew from the ground up and now moves toward completion. It will soon get its final touches and be ready to go public!

I’ve thought of various subjects we could talk about this visit. However, as we come into the Thanksgiving and Christmas season I’m drawn toward the topic of gift giving. Some folks just seem to have a knack for choosing the perfect gift. Alas, I seldom fit into that category.

Once Dale and I added our names to the intent list, I resolved to become more thoughtful with our gift giving. I realized downsizing would be a lot more fun if we gifted some “treasures” to friends and family. Of course I’ve read many articles about how our children and friends don’t want our stuff, so we have been very, very careful to make sure they receive desired items that would be treasured.

This is a win/win for you as well as friends and family: it simplifies your shopping, helps you downsize, and at the same time your friends and family have something from you they will enjoy!

It has gone very well for us. This Christmas, even though we now live at Friendsview, we are thinking of ways to “gift” others with some valued items. We have also used some of the practical suggestions in the article I’m including with this issue. Read and enjoy!

by Mollie Kavanaugh

Some men and women really enjoy wandering through malls, shopping centers, department stores, and superstores looking for holiday gifts. It puts them in that feel-good holiday spirit, they cheerfully declare.

Others find that malls and big stores have the opposite effect. Traffic, long checkout lines, and too much merchandise to sort through often cause them to spend more money than budgeted just to get it done.

Thankfully there are many ways to provide gifts for family and friends that involve little or no interaction with the storefront shopping world. Here are four other ways for older adults to give this holiday season.

Give a Cherished Item

Look around your house and see what treasure might give delight to a loved one. A painting or ceramic piece? A vase or candy dish? A souvenir from a special vacation? A wedding or long-ago birthday gift? A decorative lamp or clock?

Do a little digging. Go through your jewelry box; bookcases; china cabinets; and clothes, linen, and other closets. Attics and basements also hold treasures you might have forgotten about.

Heirloom gifts are especially meaningful to grandchildren and other young adults in your life. A granddaughter would probably appreciate your pearl necklace or vintage fountain pen. A young man might like an antique tool or cufflinks. Make sure the gift includes a card or letter, preferably handwritten, detailing memories and stories about the item.

Writes Susan V. Bosak in How to Build the Grandma Connection:
“Grandchildren like the hottest new stuff, but they also have a real need for a sense of family history and connection. In the short term, keepsakes create an immediate sense of connection. Over the years, they become a powerful symbol of that connection. Keepsakes evoke memories and feelings. They also make us feel part of something bigger. They are a critical part of a living family legacy. Older people have a need to give keepsakes as ‘something to remember me by and grandchildren have just as much of a need to receive them.”

Give Travel and Other Experiential Gifts

Is 2018 the year for an intergenerational family vacation? It might be, if you are willing to pay for some or all of it.

Along with cost, other considerations are physical activity level, interests, vacation availability of family members, health, and other special needs.

Rather than sharing a travel experience or outing, consider sharing a talent or skill with a loved one. You could teach a family member or friend how to knit; sew; make jewelry, candles or pies; and include some or all equipment and materials to get started. Or teach them woodworking, how to knit, sew, fly fish or golf, or practice yoga.

Maybe your loved one’s interest is not one you possess, such as writing poetry or playing guitar. You could sign them up for an instructional class or online program or pay a friend or neighbor to share their skills.

Obviously, you want to make sure the recipient is really interested in learning what you are offering.

Give a Handmade Gift

Kendal at Oberlin resident Sam Goldberg uses the lathe in the Kendal woodshop to make jewelry boxes, music boxes, vases, and bowls. “I have given many of these as gifts to family members and friends,” he says.

Mary Louise VanDyke, also a resident, likes to bake bread and weave wall hangings and cell phone lanyards for gifts.

If you are a knitter, think about giving socks or scarves; a seamstress, pillows and quilts; a baker, cookies and candies; a gardener, canned relish or preserves.

Give a Gift in Honor of a Loved One

Give a biogas stove, a goat or other animal, and farming item to families in Zanzibar and other impoverished countries, then send a special card from Heifer International telling your loved one of the gift. The goal of Heifer International is to help families achieve self-reliance by providing them with the tools needed to sustain themselves.

Finally, you can give the gift of giving. A GlobalGiving gift card allows the recipient to pick from thousands of humanitarian projects worldwide.

Molly Kavanaugh writes for the Kendal at Oberlin Community in northern Ohio. This article is republished by permission of Kendal at Oberlin.

by Bonnie Sloat, editor

Friendsview regularly seeks ways to offer support and resources for its intent list applicants — namely you! Through this new communication, Frank Engle, director of marketing, asked if I would be willing to answer some of the questions you might be asking and the concerns you might be experiencing as you look toward a move. Not long ago, my husband, Dale, and I faced many of the decisions you now consider for your own future. And there is much to consider! We are here to help.

As Dale and I begin our third year at Friendsview I find myself reflecting on what drew us to Friendsview and motivated us to move forward once our name reached the top of the intent list. Some of you applicants are in the throes of that decision. For some, Friendsview is one of several options. And others are simply too young but want to be responsible in planning for their future!

Since this is the launch of “Your Future in View” I want to introduce myself. Dale and I currently live in Cherry Street Village, front and center to all the exciting (and sometimes noisy) construction taking place at Phase 1 of University Village. I will be the one interacting with you here, though Dale will jump in from time to time. We’ll get better acquainted as I share thoughts and articles I find helpful. I will occasionally ask other Friendsview residents to offer ideas and experiences as well. No doubt you have thoughts and questions. Please send them to me and I will do my best, with the help of other residents, to pass them along here.

In this first “Your Future in View” I want to share an article titled “Retiring to a College Town.” I just finished auditing my first class at George Fox University. Talk about stimulating — I absolutely loved it! And of course being around young folks is a treat all in itself. We never want to stop stimulating our brains and learning new things. Auditing this class made a believer out of me, and it was one reason we chose Friendsview!

Check out the Winter 2016 issue of The View (pages 4-5) to see a list of benefits Friendsview residents, especially those on our main campus, enjoy.

by Molly Kavanaugh

Years ago, when older adults headed back to college it was usually to attend a reunion or sporting event. Today, many older adults are returning to a college town for much more than an overnight visit.

There are about 100 “university-based retirement communities,” a phrase coined by Andrew Carle, who predicts the number will double in the next decade as baby boomers reach retirement age.

“I do think these will be among the fastest new developments moving forward,” says Carle, executive-in-residence and founding director of the Program in Senior Housing Administration at George Mason University.

The College Climate

Think back to your college days. Sure, you were younger and life seemed to teem with possibilities and few responsibilities, but what else makes you nostalgic about that period in your life?

• Attending concerts, lectures, exhibits, sporting events?
• Creating new friendships with people from all over the country, and world?
• Meeting eclectic professors, visiting writers, scientists, and other artists and professionals?
• Learning new skills and knowledge?
• Stopping off at the “green” or “square” or stepping into a coffee shop or bookstore?

Well, these are only some of the reasons many older men and women find a retirement community in or near a college town appealing.

“Current retirees are very focused on active, intellectually stimulating, and intergenerational retirement environments, which is exactly what a college campus has to offer,” Carle explains.

Lifelong Learning

Living near a college or university makes learning easy and fun for older adults. Along with being able to take classes at a nominal cost or for free on the college campus, many life-plan communities offer classes on their own campus.

With so many nearby professors, communities often arrange a special lecture or event for residents. And since many retired professors live in university-based retirement communities, they often are willing to teach a class for their neighbors.

College campuses are a hub for musical performances, sporting events, and dynamic speakers, and retirement communities offer transportation so residents can enjoy all these offerings, as well as libraries, museums, and other special collections.

Intergenerational Opportunities

Living in a town full of young adults offers lots of ways to interact, both formally and informally.

Colleges and retirement communities often partner to create mentoring and tutoring programs. The program might focus on moral support for international students or athletes, or revolve around a common educational interest, such as language or nursing.

When dorms close at holidays and some students cannot go home, residents at the nearby retirement community invite them over for dinner and activities. And when residents go out to eat or shop or bike, they are doing it alongside people much younger.

Staying engaged with younger people is good for your physical and emotional health.

Generations United, a national organization focused on improving the lives of young and old through intergenerational programming and policies, says such interactions improve memory, reduce falls and enhance socialization.

“Older adults learn new innovations and technologies from their younger counterparts. They want to continue to use the skills they have acquired in their lifetimes as well as acquire new ones. Motivation and commitment to intergenerational programs comes when they feel they have taken part in their development,” according to Generations United.

How to Find the Right Fit

Just as you studied guidebooks and visited several campus locations before selecting your school, the same approach applies now.

Carle lists five criteria to consider when selecting a university-based retirement community:

1. Programming between the university and retirement community
2. Proximity of about a mile between the two campuses
3. Health services that range from independent living to skilled nursing
4. Alumni/university affiliation of at least 43 percent (alumni, parents of alumni or retired faculty/staff)
5. Sound financial planning of both entities

Molly Kavanaugh writes for the Kendal at Oberlin Community in northern Ohio.

This article is republished by permission of Kendal at Oberlin.

NOTE: We welcome applicants to contact our marketing office for more information about any of the criteria.
503-538-3144  e-mail  1301 Fulton Street, Newberg, Oregon 97132

Leading Age, a national organization of not-for-profit senior living communities, has developed a new name to replace what has been called Continuing Care Retirement Communities, or CRCCs. Friendsview, a member of Leading Age, will be adopting this change, gradually becoming known as a Life Plan Community.

We affirm the new name choice! It draws attention to our community being about life, not just care. And people that move to communities like ours tend to be planners, people who like to know they’ve made the decisions they need to make to ensure they have a solid plan in place for their future. Too often we’ve heard, “Oh, I don’t need that yet” because the former designation gives folks the misleading impression that we were all about “care.” While care is an important aspect of what Friendsview offers, we embrace the holistic viewpoint that moving to Friendsview is all about getting the most out of life.

Friendsview’s close proximity to a vibrant Christian university offers residents many benefits. People who move to Friendsview before they reach the “care” stage can spend twenty or more years of fulfilling life that includes concerts, sports, education, and connections with the younger generations.

Life Plan Communities have changed drastically from the CCRCs of thirty or more years ago. Consider our large residential homes with upgraded appliances and all the amenities found in new homes today; add our fitness and wellness programs, fine dining, creative enrichment programs, socializing opportunities, and much more. Possibly best of all, you can leave the home maintenance, housekeeping, and yard work to us!

New residents often say, “I wish I’d moved here sooner.” I think this new name will help more people understand just how beneficial moving to a community like Friendsview is and help them decide to move earlier, maximizing their opportunities to enjoy all we offer.

Leading Age Shares the Inside Story Behind the Name Change

“Life Plan Community” tested positively with current and future residents, who feel it centers on them and their needs and is easier to remember. The name allows for a conversation that is expansive and aspirational. It helps potential residents recognize the advantage of not waiting too long to move to a community.

• Life shows that our communities are about so much more than care. They’re about living life to the fullest.
• Plan captures the unique “safety net” advantages that CCRCs offer through advanced wellness and care services.
• Life Plan Community allows “planning” and “living” to merge and focuses on a primary category benefit of having a plan in place, giving freedom to enjoy all that life offers.